~when my mind is gone but I'm still here~

Dear You,

If there is ever a day where, God forbid, all my memories that were once carved in stone are only written in sand and are washed away, please tell me stories of my dreams as if they were true. Promise, that in every story, you will be there too.

Tell me of a time where I was a world renowned writer. Everyone used to ask me my thoughts not about politics but about life. I had written a collection of essays explaining the meaning of life and how to live for happiness. Religions were afraid of me for speaking so candidly about God, life, and the afterlife. They said, “The Book is all that defines God and how we can act.” I said, “There is an entire universe outside the Book that also reveals Him in a million different ways.”

I healed souls with my words, and all I had to do was put pen to paper. Musicians brought depth and texture to my poems, and readers were thrown into dreamy worlds when reading my stories. I never had to work a real job because writing was what I was meant to do.

Tell me of the times we travelled the world, and how we lived in Europe for a while. Tell me I looked divine in European dresses and that we rode bicycles everywhere we went. We drank tea and explored history. Paint pictures of all the places we backpacked. How we saw a bear just ten feet in front of us and how I swore he smiled at us. And the times we had to make fires from scratch to keep us warm because we underestimated the cold weather on over night trips. How about that one time we hiked the Grand Canyon and nearly died, but dying for that creation would have been worth it. Remember that one time we camped by rivers and our dog Kai helped up fish? Aw man, when you cooked the fish, it tasted like freedom!

One day, tell me I was the CEO of a multimillion corporation that sold ethically made makeup, and the next say I ran a non-profit homeless rehabilitation charity. Tell me of all the chaos I endured, and the next day say how peaceful and serene my life has been.

Even if I was never successful enough to have dinner with the rich, say that I dined with only the top musicians and ate like a princess. Another day, say how humble I was that I always spent my evenings feeding the hungry and volunteering. That’s actually how we got one of our dogs and cats - from the animal shelter at which I volunteered.

If there is anything I want to know about me in all of these stories - real or not - please tell me I had a smile that healed and faith that saved. Say I could save someone’s life just by listening to them and loving them unconditionally whether I knew them or not. Please tell me I radiated grace and God. That everyone who met me began to wonder and explore God.

I hope that if I ever forget the life I ended up living, that you tell me I lived the many lives I dreamt of living. I will do the same for you.

From,

Me